Lately I’ve been reading a lot of articles that have something to do with body positivity, body acceptance, etc. Despite knowing better, I’ve also been reading the comments. I know what I’ll find there. It’s always a mix of love/support and hate/disgust. Sometimes the mix tips in one direction or the other, depending mostly on the original platform. The comments make me feel bad. They make me think, however briefly, of my big body with sadness and dislike and mistrust. They pull out all the old issues around not having a body in line with societal preferences. I don’t know why I listen or continue to let hatefulness in.
I don’t remember exactly how I found the first bits of body acceptance and HAES (Health At Every Size) information. It might have been the Weightless column. Somewhere along the way though, I started seeking it out. I started reading Militant Baker and Dances With Fat. I stumbled across research and blog posts and articles, and the messages were all the same.
I’m allowed to like this body. I’m allowed I LOVE this body. I’m allowed to dress the way I like, eat the food I want, move the way I prefer, and no one has the right I judge me for it. And more than allowed – I have the RIGHT to adore the hell out of this body. This one, right here and now, just as it is. I don’t have to wait for it to change. I don’t have to be smaller or quieter or take up less space.
Loving myself and acknowledged my own beauty and power? It can happen right now, in these size fourteen pants with my cellulite and my soft belly. In fact, maybe it should be happening BECAUSE of those things instead of despite them.
And so things began to shift. Body hate become body tolerance became body love. And then? It got so much bigger. Slowly, without me realizing it at first, the movement began to spread. Suddenly, I wasn’t shooting mental daggers at the leggy, willowy blond in the short skirt on the metro. I wasn’t having less-than-charitable thoughts about people’s outfits, hairdos, or anything else. HAES created a fascinating World Peace Effect in my head, where loving myself in turn made it nearly impossible to be catty and judgemental toward anyone else.
I’m not perfect, and I never will be, but opening up to embrace my right to love and be loved? Wrapping my arms around every lump and bump and curve and knowing I’m beautiful and worthwhile and powerful? Finally feeling the tendrils of understanding that the way my body looks does NOT define me as a person? It’s changing everything.
It’s helping me embrace that fashion is about what I love to wear instead of what best conforms my body to someone else’s ideal. I’m buying and wearing clothes that make me feel awesome, and LO AND BEHOLD no one cares! In fact, I get compliments because it’s hard not to LOOK awesome when you FEEL awesome. I’m also following some amazing plus fashion Instagram accounts that are really inspiring me. The more I internalize the message that I get to wear what I want, the easier it is to remember the same is true for everyone else. Instead of judgement, I find myself smiling at women everywhere, hoping they feel amazing too.
It’s helping me see my yoga poses with reverence and a touch of awe instead of critique. Instead of focusing on which shapes are “wrong” or not like someone else’s, I’m seeing power and focus and drive and joy.
It’s helping me embrace confidence in tough situations, explore my skill set fully, and take chances at work. I’m coming into myself in a new way, and I’m excited for all the great things it’s bringing me. The farther this goes, the more I just want to reach out and support everyone else. I want people all over to see that they matter, that they deserve respect and love and a life that lights them up, and that whatever they think is “wrong” with their bodies doesn’t change any of that.
